Shuffle
by emackenzie
Summary: My playlist is on shuffle, and this is what I've come up with.
1. Note

Music is great. My friends like to tell me that I have a radio in my head, because I am always humming something. Sometimes I hear a song, and a picture pops into my head. Like most writers I'm sure, if I don't deal with it, it keeps coming back and blocking all other train of thought. The following will be a collections of one shots, not all relating to each other, some AU, some pre, post, anything or everything. The ratings will changes as well, based on the song that inspired the story. so beware of foul language. There will be no consistent updates, but I do have four to five of them already done and ready. Like everything I do, there is no beta, the errors are all mine. So enjoy other view into my simply twisted and boring mind.


	2. Little Things

**"Little Things"**

Mac walked into the bar and found her normal spot open at the bar. She slide onto the stool like she had so many times before and smiled at the well dressed man on the other side.

"Just the woman I was waiting for." Elliot the bartender smiled back at her, sliding her dirty martini toward her before leaning on the bar to engage her in conversation.

"Hey Elliot." Mac nodded, taking a sip from the glass before scanning the room. "Seems oddly busy tonight."

"Nah, no more than normal." He shrugged.

"I've been coming here for 57 weeks, it's never been this busy." Mac pointed out. It was true, this was the 57th time she had come to this bar, sat on that stool, drank a dirty martini and talked to Elliot. Sure it wasn't every Saturday night that she was there, but once a week, it had become _their_ thing. She would meet him here, once a week, every week for the last 57.

"Really, it's been that long already?" he laughed. "If I didn't know you, I would worry about how you keep track of that number."

"Ah, but you do know me, so fear not." Mac laughed as well before looking around again. She didn't understand why there were so many people, so many females. Yes it was Saturday, but it was also four in the afternoon, this wasn't the party crowd, and she wasn't the party type. "So why all the ladies?"

"Not really sure." He told her, using a hand towel to wipe down the counter, keeping himself busy in front of her.

She didn't think anything of it. This was LA, things here rarely made sense, and she wasn't about to spend her time trying to figure it out. "Have you seen my date?" she wondered, looking down at her drink again.

"And that my dear is my que to point you towards the stage." Elliot gestured behind Mac, towards the small stage on the opposite side of the room from the bar. "He's waiting for you up there."

"And I'll wait for him right here." Mac nodded. This was part of the routine. He liked to dance, socialize, and she liked to find her spot and relax. It was the way they were.

"Suit yourself." He whispered before the lights started to dim, causing both people to turn towards the stage and watch as the young baby faced boys took the empty seats on stage.

Her phone vibrated in her small handbag and she quickly fished it out, feeling her stomach drop as she read the message.

This one's for you, Ghostworld. xo

_[Zayn]_  
_Your hand fits in mine  
Like it's made just for me  
But bear this in mind  
It was meant to be  
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks  
And it all makes sense to me  
_**The first time he grabbed her hand had been at some concert. What were they thinking going anywhere with Logan and Veronica? The two had a fight in the middle of the crowd and disappeared, leaving Mac and Dick alone. He didn't want to lose her in the crowd, and he was slightly worried about someone trying to grind up on her, that he grabbed her hand, and pulled her close to him as they tried to get through the people.**

**He had never felt that surge that Logan always talked about when he and Ronnie touched, until that night. Her fingers fit perfect between his, and it had never felt more normal to hold onto something than it did to hold onto her. That's why even when they made it through all the people, he couldn't make himself drop her hand, he couldn't let go of her.**

**They walked back to where they had parked in silence, hand in hand, looking up at the night sky. They didn't get to see a lot of stars were they lived, so it was something new and nice, to be able to see them, and still hear the noise from the warehouse they had just left.**

**"You don't think they left us here, do you?" she asked in a soft voice after awhile.  
"Nah, Logan was pissed, but Ronnie had the keys, and she wouldn't do that to you, to me without second thought, but not you." **

**"I suppose you're right." She sighed turning to look at him. "Thank for not finding some bangable chick in there and leaving me. I don't think I would have remembered where we parked."**

**"What are you talking about? I left with the most bangable chick." He laughed, making her crack a smile and an eye roll.**  
_[Liam]_  
_I know you've never loved  
The crinkles by your eyes  
When you smile  
You've never loved  
Your stomach or your thighs,  
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine  
But I'll love them endlessly_  
**The black sheet made her pale skin look almost white in the morning light. This was the first night that she had actually spent the whole night with him, and he had hardly been able to sleep, watching her all night. Her hair mused around her face, and the sheet barely covering her bottom as his hand traveled up and down her spin slowly, making her smile.**

**"That tickles." Her eyes were still closed, and her words muffled by the pillow.**

**"You're beautiful, even in the morning." He laughed, kissing her shoulder, making his way towards her spine with his kisses. He traveled south, kissing his way down until he reached her last vertebrae.**

**"If you make a freak comment about my dimples I'm never sleeping here again." Mac said quickly craning her hair to shoot him a glare. The night before he had shared the story of his brief marriage and how it had ended.**

**"I happen to think dimples are cute thank you." Dick laughed before kissing the spot she was talking about and then returning to her side. If he was braver he would have told her that he loved them, because he loved her. But he couldn't, not yet.**  
_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth  
But if I do  
It's you  
Oh, it's you they add up to  
I'm in love with you  
And all these little things_  
**He was the first to say it, and she had simply told him thank you when he did finally let the words slip.**

**"Thank you?" he asked. "What is this, The OC?"**

**"The fact that you even drew the conclusion makes me wonder what you do when we're not together." Mac laughed from her bar stool. They had been coming to the same bar every Saturday for the last 14 weeks, it was where they went on their first real date, and where he first kissed her, or where she allowed him to first kiss her. He told her it was their lucky spot, so she wasn't surprised when the words slipped out of his mouth in the middle of their conversation.**

**"Mackie." Dick looked at her with a goofy smile. "I love you."**

**"I know, you just said that." Mac smiled back at him. She waited a few more minutes, watching his internal battle not to turn into a five year old before she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I guess I love you too."**

**"Thank god." He laughed before kissing her soundly.**  
_[Louis]_  
_You can't go to bed without a cup of tea  
And maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep  
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep  
Though it makes no sense to me_  
**"You have to put the bread in." her words were clear as day, and the sudden noise in the room made Dick jump. She had been laying next to him, fast asleep for a good hour while he worked on some report. He looked down at her, and saw her eyes still closed.**

**"If you burn it, you have to start all over."**

**"Burn it?" he asked mainly to himself.**

**"Yes, so set the timer." She answered promptly in a stern voice. "You could burn the whole place down."**

**"Okay, okay, the timers set." Dick laughed shaking his head. He picked up the mug that she had been drinking out of before she fell asleep and smelled nothing but herbal tea, the same she drink every night. **

**"Now turn up the oven."**

**"I'll turn it on first." He laughed.**

**"Don't think about sex when baking bread for your mother." She mumbled before turning her head and ending the conversation. **  
_[Harry]_  
I know you've never loved  
The sound of your voice on tape  
You never want  
To know how much you weigh  
You still have to squeeze into your jeans  
But you're perfect to me  
**"Dick if you play that message one more time I will break your phone." Mac hissed in the middle of the doctor office waiting room.**

**Dick smiled over at her, closing his phone. "Sorry, but I love the way you sound, telling me all the dirty things you want to do to me." **

**"Seriously." She snapped turning to look at him, allowing him to see her slat brimmed eyes.**

**"Oh come on Mac Attack." Dick said cupping her check in his hand and brushing away a fallen tear. "Don't stress about it yet."**

**"Yet?" her voice cracked in the middle of the small word. "Dick, this is serious."**

**"I know, and I told you, I'm here, all the way." Dick nodded. "Every appointment, breathing class, and dirty diaper, the Dickster's all in."**

**"Oh god I'm going to be sick." Mac said leaning forward to place her head between her knees.**

**"Cindy Mackenzie?" A nurse called, creating the couple to turn and look. Dick was the first one to get up.**

**"You're coming with me?" Mac asked in a small voice when he reached for her hand.**

**"Like I said, all in, good or bad, baby or no baby. You're my baby, so I go anywhere you want me to." His words were reassuring.**

**"Right this way." The nurse led them down the hall to the scale. "If you'd set up here, please."**

**"Are you kidding me?" Mac's face burned red looking at Dick before sighing in defeat. With her back turned to the numbers, she stepped onto the scale and kept her eyes focused on Dick's.**

**The rest of the appointment seemed to go by in a blur. And the couple stepped out into the sunny afternoon smiling.**

**"I know we were just there on Saturday, but can we go to the bar?" Mac asked. "I want to celebrate."**

**"Babe, we can go anywhere you want, your egg es no preggo." Dick laughed picking up his girlfriend and swinging her around.**  
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth  
But if it's true  
It's you,  
It's you they add up to  
I'm in love with you  
And all these little things  
**"Her!" Madison laughed, pointing and Mac, making her fold even more into herself.**

**The night had started out like most, they met at the bar, but this time it was Dick's birthday, and it wasn't just them. It almost felt like a reunion of the 09ers to Mac, or it would have if Wallace and Veronica hadn't come to LA for the weekend to celebrate with them.**

**"You aren't in love with her." Madison laughed at the idea. "She has nothing to offer you."**

**"And what, you have everything?" Dick spat at the fake blond.**

**"Of course, because I know exactly how you like it, and what you like." Madison purred, stepping towards Dick, her hand reaching for his chest before being pushed away.**

**"You know the way a lot of guys like it." Veronica Mars said stepping in front of her best friend. She knew, she knew that Mac wouldn't be able to raise her hand against Madison, knowing it would be like hitting herself. But Veronica had always had her own issues with the girl.**

**"Stay out of this Mars." Madison rolled her eyes, stumbling a little in her heels.**

**"I got this Ronnie." Dick said looking at the small blond before pulling Mac up next to him. "Cindy Mackenzie is the only woman I want to love, or have ever loved for that matter Madison. She's wicked smart, and hella funny. She can kick my ass, and hold my attention outside of the bedroom. She's a real woman, and I'm lucky that she's my woman. So before you embarrass yourself anymore, I think you should call a cab, and leave."**

**There was something about having a guy pick you, stick up for you, that was a major turn on. It made Mac weak in the knees and swoon just looking at Dick as he pushed her hair back declaring his love for her in front of a room of friends and strangers. **  
_[Niall]_  
_You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you  
You'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to.  
If I let you know I'm here for you  
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh._  
**"I wish you would have punched her." Dick shouted, pacing back and forth in the apartment Dick rented in LA. After the run in with Madison he was able to go back to the party and enjoy it, but the second they were alone he unloaded on her. "You've got to stick up for yourself more, don't let people like that, her treat you like that."**

**"You used to treat me like that." Mac pointed out.**

**"And I apologized so many times for being a stupid kid." Dick turned to her suddenly looking worried. "You know how much I love you right?" he knew that she didn't see herself the way he saw her. She saw flaws in herself, things she wanted to change, didn't like, but all he saw when he looked at her was perfection. **

**Mac laughed for a second at his foolishness before walking towards him. "Do you know how hot it was to hear to declare your love for me like that?"**

**Dick was taken back by her words. She didn't talk like that often, only when she was drunk really, that's why he had saved the voicemail and played it so many times. He wanted her to know how much of a turn on it was for him.**

**"Seriously, even if it wasn't your birthday you'd be getting lucky tonight." She laughed, pulling him down to her by his tie before ending all conversation for the night.**  
_[Harry]_  
_And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth  
'Cause it's you,  
Oh, it's you,  
It's you they add up to  
And I'm in love with you  
And all these little things  
_**It had only taken him 14 weeks to fall in love with everything about her. He had never been a quick study before, never caring enough to pay that much attention to a girlfriend, but that's what made her so different. In those first 14 weeks to saw so many different little things that he couldn't help but love. **

**But those weeks quickly turned into a year, and Dick just knew one morning when he woke up to the sounds of her softly snoring away her hang over that she was it for him, that he would never be able to love anyone else as much as he loved her. And because he was Dick, he knew that he had to share those thoughts with everyone and anyone that would listen to him.**  
_[All]_  
_I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth  
But if it's true  
It's you,  
It's you they add up to  
I'm in love with you  
And all your little things_

At some point during the song Mac had abounded her bar stool and made her way towards the stage, weaving through the people who watched the boys singing. When she got close enough she could see him, sitting on the stage, his legs dangling off the edge and a small box in one hand.

"I should kill you for embarrassing me." Mac's voice trembled when he hopped off the stage and stood in front of her, the whole room growing silent.

Dick gave her half a smile before reaching for her waist with his empty hand. "Or you should marry me, since I just had some British band sing you a song about how much I love."

"Was that my proposal?" Mac laughed.

"Marry me Cindy Mackenzie, because I can't think of a better person to spend the rest of my life with, because I don't want to spend it with anyone but you." With his thumb he popped open the box, but Mac didn't even bother to look down at the ring, she knew it would be perfect for her.

Her lips fused to his, stealing away his breath without warning, and she held tight until her own lungs burned for air, and the crowd around them applauded.

"You had me at marry me." She laughed, feeling her whole body sink into his. They might have been two opposites, but they fit each other better than anyone else could imagine.


	3. Trouble

**"Trouble"**

_Once upon a time a few mistakes ago_  
_ I was in your sights, you got me alone_  
_ You found me, you found me, you found me_  
_ I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that_  
_ And when I fell hard you took a step back_  
_ Without me, without me, without me_

_ And he's long gone when he's next to me_  
_ And I realize the blame is on me_

_ 'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ So shame on me now_  
_ Flew me to places I'd never been_  
_ 'Til you put me down, oh_  
_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ So shame on me now_  
_ Flew me to places I'd never been_  
_ Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground_  
_ Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_  
_ Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_

_ No apologies, he'll never see you cry_  
_ Pretend he doesn't know that he's the reason why_  
_ You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning_  
_ Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street_  
_ A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be_  
_ And now I see, now I see, now I see_

_ He was long gone when he met me_  
_ And I realize the joke is on me, yeah!_

_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ So shame on me now_  
_ Flew me to places I'd never been_  
_ 'Til you put me down, oh_  
_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ So shame on me now_  
_ Flew me to places I'd never been_  
_ Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground_  
_ Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_  
_ Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_

_ And the saddest fear comes creeping in_  
_ That you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything, yeah_

_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ So shame on me now_  
_ Flew me to places I'd never been_  
_ 'Til you put me down, oh_  
_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ So shame on me now_  
_ Flew me to places I'd never been_  
_ Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground_  
_ Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_  
_ Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble_

_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ Trouble, trouble, trouble_  
_ I knew you were trouble when you walked in_  
_ Trouble, trouble, trouble_

She knew, she always knew. And she couldn't lie, she had been warned, by more than one person. But she did know going into the relationship that he was trouble, she knew his reputation, and his past. But it didn't stop her. She liked the idea of being the girl he wanted to change for. And she truly thought that he would change, she had seen small changes, things that she thought were much bigger. He was going to class, making an effort, doing things he hadn't done before.

Wallace had been the first one to approach her. She had just waved Logan off, biding him a good afternoon from their non-lunch date. She was giddy, and felt dizzy with the way he made her feel.

"Hey Wallace." She beamed up at him, refusing to take in the serious look on his face. She could still feel the butterflies in her stomach, and the tingle on her hand where his had been before he went to class. "What's up?"

Wallace took the seat, the one Logan had just been in, shaking his head. "What are you doing?" he sighed, with a shake that made even his hair bounce.

"Eating lunch." Parker looked down at the food in front of her, and then back up at him confused.

"That's not what I mean." Wallace told her. "Look, I'm only doing this out of respect for you, and because V is my best friend."

"We were just having lunch, is that not allowed?" Parker asked.

"Is she your friend?" Wallace asked back.

"Of course she is. I really value her friendship, she's amazing."

"Good, then stop." Wallace told. "I know you're new to this whole situation, but you're walking into a web, and the ending is going to be messy but only for you."

"Wallace, Logan and I just friends. We had a lot of fun on Valentine's Day, plus him and Veronica are over." Parker told him.

"Consider yourself warned." Wallace sighed before pushing away from the table and leaving her there.

He was the first person to warn him, but surly not the last.

Wallace's word did stick with her, and things with Logan started to turn into more, something serious. But she knew it couldn't be anything until she talked to Veronica who seemed to be dodging her every chance she got, but Logan, being the great guy that he was took initiative and talked to her himself. To her that seemed like he really wanted to be with her. They were good together, he was happier, and she could feel herself falling for him fast. Logan was a charmer, and he knew all the right things to say, and do to make her putty in his hands. She wore her rose colored glasses with him.

But when Mac came home early from Bronson's one night to find them in the middle of a hot make out session her second warning followed.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He half smiled, tipping a pretend hat at Mac before exiting the room.

"Uh." Mac pointed at the closed door before turning to look at her roommate confused. "What was that?"

"Logan and I are seeing each other, it all started when he helped us out on Valentine's Day. We just sort of clicked." She smiled. She had been holding in the information for days, unsure of how to bring it up with Mac.

"I see." Mac nodded her head slowly. "Did you fall and hit your head?"

"What?" Parker asked.

"Sorry, it's just, seriously. Logan?" Mac asked, pointing to the picture on her desk, the one with Logan's arms around Veronica, with Wallace and Mac both on either side of the small blond. It was a picture that Keith had taken the first day of their college classes.

"Veronica said she was fine with it, and Logan is just so great." Park gushed.

"Just be careful, I don't think you realize fully the extent of their history, or relationship pattern." Mac warned before gathering her shower things and leaving the room.

Parker didn't let her friends warnings stop her. She fell hard, and fast for him. Allowing him to consume her whole, and take up every part of her.

But her third warning came the night of her birthday party. Logan had just given her the best 19th birthday party at the grand, and she was cuddled into his side, watching the sun start to raise over Neptune.

"You're the best boyfriend, of all time." Parker smiled looking up at him. His expression was hard, and she could tell that he was lost deep in thought somewhere, but she blamed it on the fact that they had been up all night. "Logan?" she poked his side.

"What?" he asked, shaking his head looking down at her.

"You're the best." Parker laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," he yawned, moving away from her so he could stand. "Bathroom," he said over his shoulder before disappearing into his room.

Park got up and started to pick the stray cups and leftovers from the party when the main door opened and Dick stumbled in.

"Whoa you're still here." Dick said taking in the tall blond.

"Yeah." Parker nodded. She didn't see a lot of Dick. "Why?"

"Well you are definitely too tall to be Ronnie, and bubbly." Dick nodded. "Definitely more bangable, so you've got that going for you, but Logan got over the bangable thing back in high school."

Parker could feel her whole face go red, with both embarrassment and anger. She knew what he was referring too. She had seen the way he looked at her that night, the way his mood seemed to change after she left, how he had paid more attention to who she was talking to than to anything else.

"Oh, hey man you're back." Logan said coming back out of his room.

"Yeah man, those crazy hot chicks locked me in the ice room, the maid just let me out. What a shame to, cause it could have been a crazy night."

"You wanna catch some waves?" Logan asked.

"Always. The sun will be up by the time we get to Dogg."

"Perfect, just want I need." Logan nodded at his friend. "I'll call you later." He kissed Parker's cheek before disappearing back into his room.

Everything from there just added up, leaving her with no choice after what he did to Piz. Logan had never really been hers, and everyone else seemed to know it but her.

When she went to the Grand, she had no attentions of breaking up with him, none of crying, just on calling him on his shit. She couldn't sit back and let him treat her like that, she was stronger than that.

"Just so you know, the best way to show you're still in love with your ex girlfriend is to beat up her new boyfriend." Straight to the point. The gloves were off. She wasn't going to be sweet bubbly Parker.

"Parker you're-"

"You're an idiot."

"What?"

"Parker you're an idiot." Yup. She had been warned, everyone had tried to tell her and she refused to listen, to see the signs.

"That's not what I was going to say."

"I know. You were going for something nice. The truth is that I am an idiot."

"You're not. There's just a lot to this you don't understand."

"Like why I kept thinking that I meant something to you? When it's always been Veronica." She nailed it, his whole faced changed. "Wow you just have seen that expression. It totally sold you out."

"Are you going to listen to me at all?"

"No! I look at you and I know you love her."

"Piz videotaped them having sex! Without her knowing it."

"Oh god well that's horrible, you must have been devastated. I mean Veronica had sex with someone else."

"She's your friend too. Aren't you angry for her, do you realize what this will do to her?"

"Do you realize that we just broke up? Yeah I didn't think so." Run Parker, leave before you cry in front of him, he's not worth your tears.

One would have thought that the break up would have been enough, to hurt her. She was sure she was falling in love with him, and he was still in love with Veronica. But he had to load nails into his canon and point it in her direction.

The pictures that followed her home in the tabloids did nothing to help her broken heart, and ease her mind that Logan had really just been in love with Veronica, because she was never the girl he was pictured with. Had he ever loved Veronica, had he ever actually cared about her? Was he that good of an actor that he had everyone fooled? None the less, it didn't make it hurt any less.


	4. Need You Now

**"Need You Now"**

"I'm always here if you need anything." The words played through her mind. It was something that had hunted her for a long time, years in fact. Those where heartbreaking words that Logan had spoken to her, because he didn't think that she needed him, that she ever needed anyone.

_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.  
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore.  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?  
For me it happens all the time._

Veronica sat on the corner of the bed, looking at the mess on the floor. What had happened? She glanced back at the broken bedroom window and sighed, feeling the tears prick her eyes. Her home had never been broken into before, it was unnerving.

She looked at the broken glass on the floor, the pictures and papers thrown all over. She could feel a sob forming, her throat growing tight with emotion that she didn't want to set free.

The police had just left, taking her statement, looking for what was taken, why her home. They told her that it was just random. Places get broken into all the time, she just never thought that it would happen to her.

It was late when she finally let herself cry, curling into a ball on the bed, still fully dressed. She didn't feel safe now. Something about knowing someone could break in and take things, mess with things, it made her feel uneasy, not safe.

Wiping the tears away she reached for her phone and hovered over pressing one of her preset speed dials. She could hear his words, still replaying in her head. She could always hear them in moments of need, but her stubbornness never let her make the call.

There had been so many times before that she had wanted to call him. After her break up with Piz, when Wallace was in a car accident, during her FBI training, late nights when she just missed the sound of his voice. But she was never able to do it, she couldn't give in.

She had tried her best not to follow him over the years, to keep tabs on him like before. When they broke up over the Madison thing, she decided that she just couldn't do it anymore, no matter what, she couldn't trust herself or him.

_[Chorus:]_  
_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.  
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.  
And I don't know how I can do without.  
I just need you now._

"Hello?" his voice was hard to hear over the background noise.

"Hello?" he asked again.

What could she say? She wasn't sure if she could say anything now, hearing his voice. It brought on a whole new wave of emotions, and she could feel her stomach contracting, holding back the sob.

"Dude, I can hear you breathing." He sighed. "617. 617." His voice was softer now, and the noise was less. "Veronica?" he breathed out in a whisper.

That was all it took, was hearing him say her name again. "Logan," he breathed out before the sob could escape.

"Veronica, where are you? Are you okay? What's wrong?" all the questions seemed to fall from his mouth at once.

She couldn't speak yet, the sobs still ripping through her body. And the fact that he kept saying sweet things and asking her questions didn't make it any better.

"Are you okay?" he asked again after a few minutes, when he couldn't hear her sobs anymore.

"I just," hiccup, "I just needed to hear your voice."

"Where are you?"

"My apartment, in Boston." She couldn't make herself say that she was home. In all the places that she has lived, she has never been able to call any of them home.

"And you're sure you're okay?" he asked again. "Your dad and Wallace, they are both okay?"

"Yeah, everyone is fine." Her voice was horse from all the crying. "Someone broken into my apartment, and, and I just I needed you."

The words were enough to make his heartbreak.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you." Veronica said quickly, pushing herself up on her bed, looking at the mess all around her. "I am so sorry Logan, I don't know what I was thinking."

"No, Veronica-"

"It's a Friday night, you're busy. I'm sorry." She said before hanging up the phone.

_Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.  
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?  
For me it happens all the time._

Over the last five years he had spent a lot of time in this bar, waiting, hoping to see her. He knew that it was a long shot, she wasn't in town anymore. But he also knew, that if she was, this is where she could come.

"Another?" the bar tender asked, looking at the empty glass.

"Yeah, sure." Logan sighed, pushing the glass away from her. "Thanks man."

"You want to talk about?" he asked leaning on the bar in front of Logan.

Logan glanced towards the door, blowing out a breath before looking at the man in front of him. Gerry had owned the bar for as long as Logan could remember. He remember coming here with his mother when they first moved here, looking for a spot to host their first part because their house was getting painted. His connection with the bar grew over the years. It wasn't fancy, or nice, not like the Grand, it was just that place to go, where you could get a drink, see your friends, shot a game of pool.

"Nah, I'm good."

"You heard from her?" Gerry asked.

"Who?" Logan asked. "Veronica?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen her since graduation."

"Neither have I." Logan asked, raising the glass to his lips. He hadn't seen Veronica in years, and it had been even longer since he'd heard from her. Their relationship was always strained, their past making it impossible for either of them to fully give themselves to each other. He had hurt her to much in the past for her to ever trust him, and she had never really given him a fair chance, always holding him at such a higher stander than anyone else. They both had trust issues, and that always stood in their way.

There had been so many moments over the years that he wished she'd call, things that had happened that he wanted her to need him, to want him. But it never came. She didn't call when Wallace was in the hospital, he found out through Mac. It hurt to think that maybe she truly was never going to need him.

He sat his drink down when his phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He never looked at the number, because only the people he gave his number to had it. He was private, always had been.

"Hello?" he asked, hoping that his speech wasn't to slurred. He waited for a response, but none came. "Hello?" he asked again wondering if they couldn't hear him over the noise in the bar. The closer her got to the door, the clearer the breathing was on the other end. "Dude, I can hear you breathing." He said stepping outside, pulling his phone away to look at the number. If this was another one of Dick's drunk dials, he was going to be pissed. "617." He read the number, he didn't know that prefix. "617." He said again when it started to dawn on him. "Veronica?" he whispered, "Veronica is that you?" was she finally calling him, after all this time?

_[Chorus:]_  
_It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now.  
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now.  
And I don't know how I can do without.  
I just need you now._

He might have been a little drunk, but the tears in her voice were real, and the simple fact that she needed to hear his voice meant everything in the world to him. Before he had even gotten into a taxi, he was booking a plan ticket. It would only take six hours, and he would be there. His flight would leave from LAX in two hours. He would go straight to the airport, despite the look he got from the cab driver. He would arrive in Boston just before 8 AM.

_Oh whoa  
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all._

She was groggy when she woke up. The alarm on her phone going off, signaling that it was 8 AM. She only allowed herself to sleep in on the weekends, when she got that was that. She looked over the side of her bed, broken glass, frames, pictures, everything was still scattered around. She couldn't bring herself to clean any of it up. After she hung up on Logan, she didn't have the strength to do anything. She laid in her bed until she had finally fallen into a restless sleep.

The light was coming through her broken window, and the reality of it all seemed to hit her all over again. Someone has been inside her apartment, the place that she was meant to feel the safest in. She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair a few times, taking out the tangles before she made herself get up on the side of the bed away from the broken window. She needed to call her dad, because she didn't know what else to do. But she couldn't call him yet, it was still too early on the West coast. And thinking about that made her think about Logan again. How could she have called him last night? She was sure that she never crossed his mind, not anymore.

But she couldn't think about that, not anymore, not now. She made her own plan of action in her mind. She would shower first, then deal with the mess. Hopefully by then it would be late enough that she could call her dad.

It was a half hour later that she stepped out of her bathroom in a pair leggings and a t-shirt. "Thanks for the mess." She muttered as she bent down to start cleaning up the glass.

"Damn it." Veronica said dropping the dust pan filled with shards of glass. She cradled her left hand in her right, close to her chest, watching as the blood started to drip. She got up to go find a towel but walking to the bathroom, she stepped on shard of glass, and felt the tears well up in her eyes, as she saw the blood prints on the carpet.

She shook her head looking at the gash in her hand, as she held a towel to it, trying to stop the bleeding. Using her chest to apply pressure to her hand, she bent over to look at her foot, pulling out the glass she had stepped on, wincing at the pain.

She had started to look for a band aid when she heard a knock on her door.

"Seriously!" she shouted, fighting back the tears. She hobbled towards the doors, trying to keep from getting more blood spread around. She tore the door open, only to feel her breath catch with the smirk that was waiting for her.

"Veronica." he smiled, knowing that he had surprised her.

"Logan, what are you doing here? How did you get here?" she asked.

"You said you needed me." He smirked, looking her up and down, his smile fading at the sight of her hand, and the drops of blood under her foot.

"What happened?" he asked reaching for her hand, before picking her up.

"Logan." Veronica said in protest. "Put me down!"

"You're bleeding." He told her, carrying her into her kitchen, and placing her on the counter, so he would be able to look at her foot.

"It's fine, I'm fine." She whispered, still shocked at the sight of him.

"You're always fine." Logan said, not stopping as he crouched down to look at her injured foot. "What happened?"

"I was cleaning up the broken glass." Veronica rolled her eyes. "Someone broken in through a window."

"That would explain the state of your apartment." Logan sighed, grabbing paper towels to hold to her foot.

The two were silent while he worked to stop the bleeding on her foot before taking her hand. Her palm had seemed to stop bleeding, and he smiled up at her.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered again.

"I told you, you said you needed me, so here I am." He smiled.

"I believe I said I needed to hear you voice."

"Details Mars."

"Reality Echolls." Veronica smiled. All the worry from the night before, even that morning seemed to melt away while she looked at him. "You're actually here." She sighed, feeling the tears well up in her eyes, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I am." Logan smiled, standing up so he could hold her in his arms, tucking her head under his chin, rubbing circles on her back. She could feel him sobbing into his chest, as her arms circled around him, holding him tightly. "I'm here." He whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good cause I need you." She chuckled, she had never thought she would actually speak those words, but it felt so good to finally let them out.

_[Chorus:]_  
_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.  
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.  
Well I don't know how I can do without.  
I just need you now_  
_I just need you now.  
Oh baby I need you now. _


	5. Tickets

**"Tickets"**

Honesty he couldn't remember a time that she wasn't in his life, even before they started school, she was always there, part of his world. Even when she was little she was snotty, and thought she was better than everyone else, everyone outside of their zip code that is. Then as they got older, it seemed like everyone was paired off. They all had someone they fit with, Logan and Lilly, the wild children, Casey and Darcy, Duncan and Veronica, so of course Dick and Madison just fit. They all ran in the same circles, and it was Neptune, there weren't many worthy circles.

_She's got tickets to her own show  
But nobody wants to go  
And I'm stuck sitting in the front row  
I'm singing along like there's no tomorrow_

Madison didn't have real friends, people that actually cared about her. She had friends, the ones that showed up when they would benefit from it, but no one that would just be there because they wanted to be, no one but Dick that was. Half the time she was sure that he wouldn't be there if it wasn't for the promise of sex.

"Huge party at my place, rents are gone for the week, and they took the little twerp with them." Madison announced to her friends as they gathered around the large beach blanket.

"Sounds like fun." Shelly shrugged.

"Of course, it's a party." Kimmy rolled her eyes.

Madison hoped that getting the majority of the group to say they'd come would ensure that Lilly and Veronica would be there. She knew that without them, it wouldn't be a party.

"About time they leave babe." Dick added.

"I don't know if I can stay the whole time, but Cole and I will come by." Meg smiled.

Everyone sitting within three feet of her confirmed their attendance, and that's when Madison turned towards the others, the infamous fab 4 as Lilly called them.

"You're coming right?" she asked in almost a small voice, one a child would use.

Lilly Kane made no comment, just looked at her over the top of her sun glasses before pushing them back up her nose.

"If we're not grounded." Veronica supplied, no one else willing to speak from the group, Duncan and Logan both leaving it up to her.

But the day of the party came quickly, and Madison had a fully stocked kitchen, ready to throw the biggest party of the summer yet, only to be standing in the back yard with one guest, her boyfriend.

"Where is everyone?" she pouted, looking at the time.

"Ronnie's having a birthday party tonight, so I doubt anyone is going to come." Dick shrugged. He had gone by the Kane party before going over to his girlfriends, knowing it was the only way to stay out of the dog house.

_It's funny how you say that you made it on your own  
When you haven't worked for anyone your daddy didn't know  
You say you got a job, but I don't know what you do  
Such a fu-fu-fucking snob that you'll never know the truth_

He cut off all communication with her after the Logan incident. He didn't need that in his life, he didn't need her in his life. She was bat shit crazy, as Veronica often told him.

But still they lived in Neptune, the world with no middle class, and few people worthy of spending time with. So it was bound to happen sooner or later, that they would be face to face at some function, trying to be civil.

Civil for Madison wasn't possible though, not a word that she understood.

Her annoying voice could cut through a crowd just about anywhere, always needing to be heard by everyone in the room.

"I'll have a corner office by the end of the quarter, I'm sure of it." Madison bragged to a group of people around her. Her voice rising when she saw Dick and another girl close by. "Ever since I dumped all the losers I hung out with, I've really started making a name for myself. I wouldn't be surprised if I get super promoted in the next year."

Dick couldn't help but roll her eyes as her comments. She had gotten a desk job from some friend of her days after college graduation, and from what Dick had heard, she had blown through more than a few of them in the three years they'd been out of school.

_You're perfect on the outside, but nothing at the core  
It's easy to forget when you show up at my door  
Stop messing with my mind, cause you'll never have my heart  
But your perfect little body makes me fall apart,  
Your perfect little body makes me fall apart_

He could blame it on the alcohol. He could always blame the alcohol. She had shown up at his apartment door, hips swaying in her tight little skirt, shirt cut just right to show enough cleavage to make any guy stare. God she looked so good on the outside, it was hard to imagine how evil she was on the inside.

"Miss me?" she purred, her hands traveling up his chest slowly, her perfume intoxicating.

He let her have her fun, but the second her turned around and wiggled her hips into his groin, he lost his will power. He was only a man after all, and she was an easy fuck. He wasted to time pulling her into the bedroom. There was one thing he enjoyed about the way he was rised. He learned not to love, or care about much of anything. He could fuck Madison anytime and in the morning, it wouldn't matter because she didn't matter.

_She's got tickets to her own show  
But nobody wants to go  
And I'm stuck sitting in the front row  
I'm singing along like there's no tomorrow_

La la la la la la la laaaaaa

I know you wanna stay, but I think that you should go  
Cause you got nothing to say, you just sit there on your phone  
I try not to give in, but temptation has me lost  
So I will do my best to get you off

The hangover was never the worse part of waking up after a night with Madison. It was the sound of her annoying voice, the smell of her perfume, and just the sight of her.

Dick groaned, throwing an arm over his face to try and block the sun light. "Fuck." He moaned at the sound of her laugh. He couldn't waist anymore time. He pushed himself off his bed, and pulled his boxers back on.

She said nothing to him when he walked into the living room, starching his stomach and taking in the sight of her in her bra and panty set.

That was fine for him, he didn't really want to talk to her anyway. He hoped if he ignored her she would get the message and just leave. But he knew it never worked. She was there for a reason, and it was obvious last night wasn't enough for her. Which he expected, he wouldn't lie. He was more concerned about get off himself than her.

It was a sick cycle he put up with. But he knew that the sooner he got her off, the sooner she would leave, and he could easily act like it never happened. It was just sex after all.

_You're perfect on the outside but nothing at the core  
It's easy to forget when you show up at my door  
Stop messing with my mind, cause you'll never have my heart  
But your perfect little body makes me fall apart,  
Your perfect little body makes me fall apart_

She's got tickets to her own show  
But nobody wants to go  
And I'm stuck sitting in the front row  
I'm singing along like there's no tomorrow

La la la la la la la laaaaaa

[Girl singing]  
La la la la la la la laaaaaa  
La la la la la la la laaaaaa

Yeah...

She's got tickets to her own show  
But nobody wants to go  
And I'm stuck sitting in the front row  
I'm singing along like there's no tomorrow

She's got tickets to her own show  
But nobody wants to go  
And I'm stuck sitting in the front row  
I'm singing along like there's no tomorrow

La la la la la la la laaaaaa  
La la la la la la la laaaaaa


	6. Someone Like You

**"Someone Like You"**

_I heard that you're settled down  
That you found a girl and you're married now.  
I heard that your dreams came true.  
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you._

"Veronica." Mac called softly, coming into the apartment that she shared with her best friend. She was nervous, she wasn't sure how she was going to tell her this.

"What's up?" Veronica called from her bedroom, popping her head out into the hallway.

"The mail came." Mac said biting down on her bottom lip. She looked at the paper in her hands before looking up at her friend again. "Something came, for me."

"What is it?" Veronica asked looking at her curiously. She had never seen Mac act like this, it was strange. "You're freaking out me here Mac."

"Veronica, I really don't know how to tell you this." Mac said extending her arm, handing the envelope to her. Maybe this way would be easier.

"What is this?" Veronica asked taking it from her and looking it over, she pulled the card out, and still didn't understand what it was she was looking at. "I don't understand." She whispered opening the card and reading it. She ran her fingers over the top of his name.

_Because you have shared in our lives, your friendship and love we,_

_Rose Anne Reeves_

_Logan Andrew Echolls_

_Together with our families invite you to share in a day of happiness when we exchange our marriage vowels._

'Time to put your game face on Mars, every move you make from here out is going to make you or break you. Mac is going to be watching, and she's obviously expecting some sort of reaction. So don't give her one. Hand her back the card, and smile. Ask what she'll wear to such a fancy shin dig. Do anything but cry, or show any real emotion at all. Indifference in key here.'

Veronica handed the card back to her roommate. "Should I feel hurt that I wasn't invited?" she asked. "Or is it bad form to invite your exs to your wedding?"

"I won't go." Mac said quickly.

'Damn you Mars. You forgot that this girl has lived with you since junior year of college, she can read your humor like a book. Plus she'd have to be stupid to think that this wouldn't have any sort of effect on you at all. She used to hear to crying in the middle of night. She was there after you were shot out and called out for him. She's not stupid, she's your best friend.'

"No you should. You two are still business partners. Rate my ass still brings in money." Veronica told her. She could pretend to be strong all she wanted, she knew it wouldn't work.

"That doesn't mean I have to go. Plus I wouldn't go alone, not to something like that. Dick could hit on me again, and I'd rather just not deal with that." Mac told her.

Veronica knew what she was referring to. It happened the last time they had seen Dick and Logan. It was only a few months ago, did she know then that Logan was seeing someone? Someone serious enough to get married?

They had gone home to Neptune for the weekend. Veronica was being forced to take some time off, something that happened to agents after big cases, or any case ended badly. And Mac wanted to go see Ryan for his birthday, so it was an easy choice to make.

They had been at the Hut, getting coffee when in walked the blast from their past. Neither of them had seen each other since graduation nearly two years ago. It was awkward at first, but they easily fall back into their routine of verbal sparring and banter. Dick tried to ask Mac out, but she shot him down without even blinking, and Logan and Veronica chatted the whole night away, not even seeming to notice the others around them.

"I-uh." She could feel the emotions stirring inside her, trying to find a way out. "I've got some case files I need to finish going over before tomorrow." She rubbed her eyes, hoping that would make it less obvious that her eyes were watering. "So I'll see you for dinner in about an hour, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll order in, maybe run out and grab some ice-cream." Mac nodded before allowing Veronica to disappear to deal with the news on her own.

_Old friend, why are you so shy?  
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light._

Veronica wasn't sure she wanted to go. She knew Neptune was going to be a mess the whole weekend, hell she was going to be a mess that weekend. She had wanted to spend it in her own drunken stupor, maybe with Wallace, or at some club. And to make matters even worse it was the weekend before her birthday. It should have been a joyful weekend, but she was finding it hard to find any joy in it.

"You know, I was fine with ordering in." Veronica announced again as they pulled into Cho's parking lot. "Dad even said he would pick it up on his way home." Somehow she had convinced herself that going back to Neptune the weekend of Logan's wedding was the right thing to do, the best way to show that she, Veronica Mars, was indifferent to what was happening in his life.

"It's your birthday weekend." Mac told her. "Plus I want to see if Corny is still working here. He still owes me like $300 for that computer job I did for him the last time I was home."

"I could have just looked him up from the comfort of my dad's couch Mac." Veronica complained as they walked towards the entrance. "And I don't care, my birthday isn't until Tuesday, I will celebrate with everyone that isn't my father then."

"Veronica, it's just dinner. Try and enjoy it?" Mac asked, opening the door for her friend.

Veronica was greeted with the shouting of surprise when she entered the pizzeria. She was a little taken back by the people standing before her, wishing her an early happy birthday.

"That and I don't think we could have snuck all these people into your dad's apartment without you noticing." Mac laughed.

'Maybe there is something good about this weekend.' She thought at she mingled with her friends, Weevil, Wallace, Mac and her parents, her dad, Cliff, Leo, Sacks, and a few other people filled the restaurant. It was all fun and enjoyable until the blond surfer and his best friend walked in.

"Ronster, happy birthday!" Dick laughed slapping her on the back.

"Yeah, thanks Dick." Veronica said unable to look at the man standing next to him.

"Happy Birthday Veronica." he finally whispered, causing her head to shot up and stare at him.

Was that how it was doing to be now? Using full names, and half hearted comments. At one point in time they had been so close to each other that they could carry on a conversation as though the rest of the world didn't exist around them. But staring at him, she knew that wasn't the case anymore.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.  
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
That for me it isn't over._

He had knocked on her door once at 3 in the morning, the only difference was at the time, she had actually been hoping that he would show up at her door. She was sure that right now that wasn't the case. Veronica Mars was probably the last person that Logan Echolls wanted to see at 3:04 AM, just days before his wedding.

"Veronica?" he asked, opening the hotel room door. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know." Veronica said shaking her head. She wasn't sure why she was there, not really. It was clear that Logan had moved on. And she had spent the last few months trying to accept that fact. But she had been laying in bed, trying to sleep, trying not to think about the way he acted when they saw each other at Cho's, that it seemed impossible. She couldn't hold it back any longer.

"You're getting married, and I'm stuck trying to wrap my head around that, and for awhile I actually thought I had, I mean I really thought I had it all figured out. And then I see you, and you act like you hardly even know me, and suddenly it all comes back to me, and before I know it, I can't sleep, and I'm standing in front of you hotel room." Veronica said brushing past him into his room. She paced back and forth in front of the couch.

"I mean seriously. I just saw you, not even six months ago, and you didn't even mention that you were seeing someone, you flirted with me, you acted like you've always acted. And then out of nowhere Mac gets this wedding invitation. You know that we live together, so you knew I was going to see it. And I have no right to care, I shouldn't care anymore." She stops and looks at him finally. "But I do care, every part of my cares, I've always cared."

"Veronica." Logan sighed running his hand through his hair, pulling on his ends.

"No Logan, you told me. You told me that we were epic, that we were about bloodshed, ruined lives, that our love would be spanning continents. You told me if I needed you, you'd always be there. You told me that you loved me." She shouts at him, angry at herself for revealing this type of emotion. "What am I suppose to do now?"

"What do you expect me to do Veronica?" he asks ashamed of himself. "Did you expect me to wait for you, to hang around until you were ready to put me through the ringer again? You said you wanted me out of your life Veronica. You told me you were done with me. I've only done what you've asked."

"I never asked you to stop loving me." Veronica couldn't fight back the tears while she told him. Every part of her heart was breaking. "I never asked you to give up on me Logan."

"You never asked me not to either." Logan whispered.

"I love you Logan, I am not ready to give up on that." She whispered back.

"I'm sorry Ronnie."

Almost as though the nickname triggered something inside her, her mask slipped back into place, the tears in her eyes drying up, and the reality of what she was saying dawned on her. With wide eyes she clapped her hand over her mouth, the feeling she had when she saw Kendall warp her arms around him the morning after Alterna-Prom set in, and she pushed past him again, this time headed for the elevator. She couldn't even apologize for what she had done, for the things she had said.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you too  
Don't forget me, I beg  
I remember you said,  
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,  
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"_

She openly cried into the pillow on her father's lap, while he rubbed circles on her back.

"It's okay sweetie." Keith told her softly. "It's going to be okay."

"It wasn't over, not for me." Veronica tells him through a sob. She wasn't ready to give him up, to give up hope that they would be able to find their happily ever after in each other. She wasn't ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, he could love someone more than he loved her.

"I know honey." He tells his daughter. "But sometimes love lasts, and sometimes it does nothing but hurt."

She knew that her father would give anything to take away her pain, and she could give anything to be able to hide it from him. But she had never felt this broken before, this lost and hurt. It was a new level for her.

_You know how the time flies  
Only yesterday was the time of our lives  
We were born and raised  
In a summer haze  
Bound by the surprise of our glory days_

For most people high school and college was meant to be the time of their lives, their glory days, the days they looked back on and longed for. But it hadn't been like that for them. High school had been pledged by the death of Lilly Kane, and most of college was hunted by rapists and break ups. Things neither of them wanted to look back on. There were very few good times they had back then, that they could look back on.

They had those summers, those moments in time that they had figured out how to make it work, how to over look all the bad and evil that seemed to follow them, and just be. They had almost two whole summers together that weren't plagued by trust issues, fears, rapists, murders, or anything else.

There time together hadn't been very long, but it was enough to hold onto. Their feelings for each other were enough to leave the lasting impression that forever would happen at some point. But now, in what Veronica had thought would finally be their glory days, were turning into Logan's glory and her heart break.

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.  
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
That for me it isn't over._

"You don't have to do this." Mac told her through the closed bathroom door. "No one in their right mind is expecting you to do this."

"No one in this town is in their right mind." Veronica supplied. "Plus, I have to do this for myself." She whispered looking at herself in the mirror. Her long blond hair was sleeked back in a low pony tail that gave it more elegant look. She slowly applied the soft pink lip stick before turning and opening the door.

"Well, at least you look good." Mac shrugged at her friend. She knew better than to try and talk her out of this.

"I always look good." Veronica smiled and gave a soft laugh.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you too  
Don't forget me, I beg  
I remember you said,  
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."_

"I've got to admit, I'm surprised you called." He smiled as they greeted each other with kisses on the cheek.

"So am I." Veronica gave him a soft smile in return.

"How have you been? I heard from Luke that you were in Neptune a few weeks back. Visiting your dad?"

"Yes, Mac and I went up for the weekend, I had a few days off from work." She smiled.

"That's right, I hear you're a real Federal Agent now days." He laughed as they followed the host of the restaurant to their table.

"And where do you hear all of this information?" she asked, truly curious. It had taken some digging on her part to find out what he was up to.

"Around, people. You know us 09ers, we love to talk about Veronica Mars." He smiled at her as he pulled her chair out.

"Well, I'd love to hear what the great Casey Grant has been up to." Veronica told him.

She hadn't stayed in Neptune any longer after the night she went to Logan's hotel room. She couldn't make herself stay there any longer, and Mac had no problems returning to North California with her.

When she got back, and rediscovered her groove in her life, she called Casey Grant. She was determined to move on, to find someone that she could love again, someone like Logan.

_Nothing compares  
No worries or cares  
Regrets and mistakes  
They are memories made.  
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?_

Things with Casey were easy, they always had been. It was an easy friendship to form back in high school, and an easy relationship to start now. Veronica never had past issues with him. He was always honest with her, even if he was a jerk through most of high school. So she had no issues trust him the way she had with Logan. She could just be with him. And that's what she did.

Casey became a new fixture in her life, just like coffee, or Italian food.

Although there was still a large hole in her heart, one that she would became painfully aware of while she laid alone at night, but Casey did seem to ease that pain, and help to heal her wounds.

She knew that her love for Logan would never compare to the love she would have for anyone else. She had lost her chance at epic, and she was learning to deal with that, finding ways to cope.

That's how she ended up at a publishing party a mere seven months after her first date with Casey, on his arm.

"Don't let anyone tell you any different, you're the most gorgeous woman in the room." Casey whispered into her ear as they walked around the large ballroom. It wasn't a fancy party, but Grant publishing did nothing half assed.

"Should I share that fact with your mother?" Veronica laughed looking up at him.

"Absolutely." Casey smiled before leaning down to kiss her softly. "I'll stand by it, all the way."

"That's good to know." Veronica smiled when he pulled away. "Now tell me, who's the author we're trying to impress tonight?"

"How'd you know?" Casey asked, his face falling a little. He hadn't taken Veronica to many of the publishing parties because the dates always conflicted with something, or even he himself wasn't going.

"Because, this is too casual to be super important, and it's got to be someone big if you're here." Veronica looked around the room, trying to figure it out. "I'm FBI, remember?"

"How could I ever forget?" he laughed.

"Due to the amount of finger foods, I'm going to say it's a woman." Veronica observed. "She must be married, because I don't see Ethan in attendance, or has he been banned from all parties since he tried to cop a feel?"

"Actually when I told him you were coming tonight he said that he had other plans, and wouldn't be able to attend." Casey smiled at her. "But I do enjoy watching you use your profile skills. Although she's not married, but is in a relationship."

"Well am I going to get to meet her?" Veronica asked. "Or was that most beautiful girl in the woman, your way of buttering me up because she's drop dead gorgeous herself?"

"You're the most gorgeous woman in the room, hands down." Casey laughed at her, taking her hand and twirling her out a few feet making her red cocktail dress flare out.

"Okay, you've sucked up enough," Veronica said coming back into his embrace and hugging him around the middle. "Go speak to whomever it is that needs your attention. I'll mingle with the people I like." She reached up to kiss him once before shooing him away, knowing that he had people to talk to, and she would just be bored on his arm.

She walked around the room until she came to the buffet table, and slowly looked the food over, filling up her own plate. Before she would have loaded her plate, but now just picked at things, not really in the mood for food.

"There must be something wrong with my eyes." A voice floated from across the table, causing her to look up.

The pain was instant, but she wouldn't show it. She had gotten really good at hiding it from everyone.

"You're half way down the table, and there is still room on your plate." He joked.

Veronica looked down at her plate, suddenly her apatite had all together disappeared. "Maybe this isn't my first time through." She commented, looking for a spot to discard her plate. She didn't bother with anymore small talk, she found a waited, hander over her plate, and looked for an escape route.

"Running away from me again Ronnie?" he asked, coming up behind her.

"More like walking." Veronica commented. "These heels weren't really made from running. Although I'm sure I could out run you in them if I wanted to."

"There you are." Casey said with an arm gesture as Veronica walked towards him the group of people he was talking to. "Looks like you found Logan as well." He nodded towards the man behind Veronica.

"He actually found me." Veronica smiled, taking her place by Casey's side as his arm wrapped around her.

"Well Veronica this is Rose Reeves, hopefully our new editor over or magazine department." Casey said making introductions. "This is my wonderfully talented girlfriend, Veronica Mars."

Veronica froze looking at the woman, her black dress hugging her round pregnant belly. She could feel her stomach drop, and her eyes strong from the tears that wanted to form.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Rose smiled, extending her hand. "I guess you already know my husband. Casey tells me you all attended high school together."

"It's a pleasure." Veronica was barely able to respond the woman, giving nothing but a small nod of the head before looking up at Casey. "I hate to do this, but I've been summonsed back to the office."

"Veronica works for the FBI." Casey explained to the group around them. "I'll walk you out."

"No, don't be silly." Veronica flashed a smile at him and then back at everyone in the group. "You're entertaining."

"Okay, fine you're sure." Casey smiled at her, leaning down to kiss her.

"It was a pleasure." Veronica said nodding at the group before turning, and walking as quickly as she could out of the room without it looking as though she was running.

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you too  
Don't forget me, I beg  
I remember you said,  
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."_

She couldn't breath. That much she was sure of when she reached the elevators, away from the party. With a hand on her stomach, and one on the wall, she braced herself while she waited, waited for the elevator, waited for him. She knew that he didn't buy her story, she knew that if she chose, he could still see through her lies.

"Veronica." He said leaning casually on the wall next to her, not looking at her.

She couldn't control the rate her chest was rising and falling, her lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, and her mind was racing with the image of the swollen, pregnant belly. She turned her head ever so slightly to look at him, to show him that she truly couldn't deal with this, with him. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready.

"Veronica." he whispered, reaching out to touch her arm, to offer her comfort, but she flinched away.

She was sure that she would have died right there if he touched her, her heart would have finally stopped, and his pretty brown eyes would have been the last thing she saw.

"I'm sorry, this dress is just too tight." She whispered her excuse, knowing her wouldn't buy it, but he wouldn't call her on it either. When she finally had some control over her emotions she stood up and faced him properly.

"So Casey-" he started.

"He's a great guy." She cut him off with a smile.

Silence.

"You're wife is-"

"Yeah, she is." He cut her off nodding. He reached out to cup her face, the way he had so many times before, brushing a stare tear away with his thumb.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head into his touch, enjoying the way it felt, feeling the hole in her heart close, and the pain leave. But the ding of the elevator behind her seemed to bring her back to reality, and she stepped back, out of his touch and into the elevator. "Don't forget me." She whispered, tears once again rolling down her cheeks.

His smile was heartbreaking, and she knew that it wasn't only her heart that was breaking. And was the doors closed he told her. "I'll remember."

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you too  
Don't forget me, I beg  
I remember you said,  
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,  
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."_

**AN: Don't hate me, I had to write it. I started out writing a different version, and it's taken on a whole life of it's own. And then I heard this song again, and I knew it had to be done. The heartbreak, tears, I just couldn't help it. **


End file.
